1. Driving to Fishtown.
2. Hanging out with Janie.
3. Hanging out with Drew later.
4. Doing laundry maybe.
5. Making Drew do an exercise video to repent for his sins.
6. Maybe swimming if the weather isn't cock-blockin'.
7. I should go to the library.
8. I should get my life together, but I can't do that if Drew is here. I need to be alone when I'm registering for classes that I don't even know I can handle, and I have to assess this myself, based on nothing, because my advisor doesn't like communicating with me.
9. There's a really awesome Certified Addictions Counselor program at Villanova. That's where I'm going, once I fail out of grad school. That's more on the lines of what I want to do. I do not wish to be a probation officer or someone who sets up rewards systems for autistic kids. Let you say "token economy" around me, and I will laugh at how much better I am than you. I'm not failing out of grad school today, but I'm going to think about it a lot today.
10. I called every friend back who called me. Or at least tried to. So I owe you nothing.
11. Food shopping. I forgot about that. I don't know if I want to cook this week though. I feel kind of "blah", and don't really have the desire to cook or eat or clean up after said things. I need to buy raw vegetables though. I suffered the consequence of not eating raw vegetables for four days last night, and it wasn't pretty.
12. It's not getting hot out today. If it doesn't rain, maybe Drew and I will walk somewhere. Maybe the library!
13. Drew will hate it.
14. I gotta get out of here and be on my way to Janie's. I think by forcing myself to do normal things, I might come out normal someday. Maybe even next year or so, when I have more money, I'll take some sort of medication that makes me feel better, rather than using caffeine and alcohol to stabilize my moods.
3 comments:
In the meantime, before you get medication, there are things you can do to stabilize your mood. St. John's Wort, rose petals, catnip and ginkgo are really helpful. Exercising definitely helps too, but I know you do that already. Meditation has actually really helped me a huge amount, but I don't know if that's your scene.
Thanks for the suggestions and for knowing that meditation isn't my scene. What do you do with catnip?
You can put it in a tea strainer and steep it for a few minutes in hot water, then drink it. I thought it would taste gross, but it's related to mint and is kind of nice. It's weird; it freaks cats out, but it makes humans relax.
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